Hi, I'm Ellen, an alcoholic.

Am I truly grateful for God's grace? Another of the mottoes of AA is "But for the Grace of God." When I see another suffering alcoholic in the throes of alcoholism, I repeat this motto. This serves as a reminder of the kind of person I was. I remember those left behind. And I am glad God, by His Grace, has given me another chance at life. A consciousness of God's presence as One who loves me makes all life different. Now, this sounds all well and good, but what does it really mean? How do I develop an awareness of God's presence? Well, first I acknowledge God. Then I pray as I have been taught to do in AA. As I become a viable part of the fellowship, I start to recognize God working through others. It promotes opening of all of me to God. It brings wonderful relief from the cares and worries of my days. It brings peace, and peace brings contentment. I try to walk in God's love. We are told we will have that peace which passes all understanding, and a contentment that no one can take away from us. This is pretty powerful stuff. I feel sure of God's unfailing love for all of me, HIS child. Today I can feel the 'spring' of God's power in my steps and the joy of HIS love in my heart. Prayer is the absolute foundation of life in my sobriety today. I learned to pray differently when I came into AA 23 years ago. I discovered that God will give me what I need in HIS time, not mine. As Bill W. states in 'As Bill Sees It' on page 33, “In praying, we ask simply that throughout the day God place in us the best understanding of His will that we can have for that day, and that we be given the grace by which we may carry it out.” So, yes, to answer the topic question -- I am ever, ever so grateful for God's grace, for without it I would be dead. Thanks for letting me share.

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