My name is MIke, and I'm an alcoholic.

Self-pity is an ugly emotion. It's not something we want to admit having. Bill Wilson once said, "Depression is unfocused self-pity." Man, that makes a lot of sense. As the book says, I could think of hundreds of legitimate reasons for my poor-me-ism. Self-pity is an enticing swamp that is easy to slide into because it takes less effort than hope or faith. Sometimes self-pity is very hard to avoid. Within a period of 3 months, I lost my mother, a great job, my car, and was evicted. Instead of working to better my situation, I compounded it with drinking more and falling further and further into that swamp of self-pity. I was so caught up in me! me! me! that I alienated everyone close to me. Total self-absorption, I lost touch with virtually everyone else. Now when I look back, it's perfectly clear how hard it can be to put up with someone like that. I am not sure exactly how it came about, but one night I found AAOnline. I found out I was not the only person in this situation. I started watching the meetings. I began to see my self-pity for what it was. You folks told me there was something I could do about it other then drinking. For once in my life, I was willing to take some responsibility for my sorry self, instead of rubbing more salt in the wound. I was very blessed with friends whom I trusted enough to talk openly with. Real friends who would tell me the truth, and call me on my BS. Like the book says, humor is an excellent weapon, and it describes busting out laughing at a meeting at someone's latest story of self-pity. I can so relate to that. Even here, we laugh, and laughter takes the pain away. One of the most powerful tools to fight self-pity is gratitude. Misery vs. Blessings. Instead of sadness over personal loss, or old wounds, I simply tally up the blessings that I have today. Today I am sober; I have a Higher Power who is driving the train. I have mended many fences, and rebuilt burned bridges once thought destroyed forever. Thanks to my Higher Power, Alcoholics Anonymous, and all of you I know how to deal with self-pity. Thanks for letting me share.

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